Pregnancy, motherhood and madness

There was an uncomfortable silence on the phone.

Amy's pregnant?

Another long pause...Yeah mom, she's pregnant...not exactly the best timing, eh?

Something tells me she stopped taking her birth control pills.

Scott, are you sure she was ever on the pill?

Another pause...

Mom, to tell you the truth, I'm not sure of anything right now. All I am sure of is that I can't even consider a break up. I have a responsibility to take care of her and the baby. Who knows, maybe this will bring us closer together, something to celebrate. And you and dad will be awesome grandparents!

Terri agreed, they would be awesome grandparents. But she worried about the marriage. There were problems from the start. And children, although a blessing, seldom are the answer to a rocky relationship.

During the pregnancy, Amy's behaviors became more erratic.

One moment, she would be raising cane about her career.

In no uncertain terms she let Scott know that she was not about to throw all her schooling in the dumper simply because of a child. She expected to continue working and she expected to further her education. In the next breath she would scream about how unfair it would be for her to have to work and be a mother. She also became increasingly jealous. She accused Scott of having affairs and wanted to know his whereabouts at all times. When Scott would be scheduled for duty it was not uncommon for Amy to call his commanding officer to inquire if Scott was in fact scheduled for work. Scott was often reprimanded by his C.O. for these incidents and he tried his best to curtail Amy's outbursts. When Amy wasn't calling Scott's commanding officers, she would call his cell phone repeatedly. It wasn't uncommon for Scott to have 20-30 messages from Amy on any given day.

Amy also didn't fit the typical scenario of a first time mommy-to-be. Most women happily discuss their pregnancy, look forward to picking out layette items and spend hours finding the perfect name for their baby. Not the case with Amy. She rarely discussed her pregnancy. There was no "glow". She almost seemed annoyed with the entire process. She clearly was not impressed with her baby shower. Most mother's ohh and ahh over all the baby gifts. Amy was almost robot-like. No emotion. Take card off of gift, open envelope, briefly read who the gift was from, remove wrapping paper, open box, look, close box, move to next item...

And it was noted by the guests that she seemed less than excited. Not your typical baby shower. When Amy was asked how she liked being pregnant her response was "it's a means to an end"...

It wasn't learned until after her pregnancy that Amy, against medical advice, stopped taking all her medications. Although the doctor had assured Amy that the risk of not taking her medications was far greater then her taking them, Amy felt otherwise. She had no problem letting the doctor know that she felt his medical knowledge was "questionable" and that she would take his advice "under consideration". The doctor instructed Amy to be cautious and had suggested that she at least take a lower dosage and not just stop cold turkey, but Amy would not hear of it. Scott had no idea that she had stopped her medications and at one point had asked her if possibly her medications needed adjusting as her mood swings were becoming more severe. Amy assured him that her dosage was fine and that her mood swings were a normal part of fluctuating hormones. She never mentioned that she was no longer taking anything except a prenatal vitamin.

Amy delivered a healthy baby boy by C-section . Terri and Bruce were on cloud nine. Terri made arrangements to go and spend a few weeks helping out Amy while she recovered as Scott could not take time off. When Terri arrived she noted that Amy seemed distant and agitated. Terri felt this was probably due to "baby-blues" and lack of sleep. Terri tried to be understanding and patient with Amy. It didn't seem to help.

Amy was also bad mouthing Scott to Terri. According to Amy, Scott should "man-up" to his C.O. She felt it was "bullshit" that Scott could not get time off. Amy was also certain that Scott's C.O. was covering up for Scott's so-called affairs. According to Amy everyone on base was having affairs and everyone covered up for one another. No one with a penis was to be trusted. Terri tried to make light of it and assured Amy that nothing could be further from the truth, but Amy would have no part of it.

The two weeks that Terri spent helping Amy were difficult. Amy frequently had outbursts and her rage was relentless. When Andy would cry, Amy would insist that Terri and Scott leave him to "cry it out". Amy stated that under no circumstances would she raise a spoiled child. Amy wanted the baby on a strict schedule. There was to be no fluctuation. Again, Amy became robot-like with her mothering duties. Amy was also becoming suspicious of Terri. Amy felt that Terri was going to try to kidnap Andy.

Scott placed a phone call to Amy's doctor about Amy's erratic behavior. The doctor asked Scott if Amy had started back on her medications? It was only then that Scott learned of Amy's discontinuing her medications during her pregnancy. When Scott confronted Amy about this, Amy flew into a rage. It was just the beginning of many rages.....

-S.Spade