A marriage made in Heaven???

Newlyweds.

It was almost immediately after Scott and Amy's wedding that the two moved out of state where Scott was stationed to begin his military career. The couple set up house on the military base. Nothing fancy, but first homes seldom are.

Amy was busy in the medical field, pursuing her career and contemplating furthering her education.

It appeared that both the bride and groom were eager to settle in to their new roles. No plans of children in the near future and they were carefully making plans to further both careers and start a nest egg.

But appearances can be deceiving.

Amy had a quick temper.

This was something apparent from the very beginning of their relationship.

Not only did Amy have a temper, she had a very controlling personality.

It was also clear that Amy wanted and demanded her own way in life.

Negotiation was not an option.

Amy told people what to do. She never asked, she told.

This is a trait that stemmed back to her childhood .

Amy played her parents as if they were her puppets.

It appeared she was daddy's little girl.

What she wanted, she got.

Her relationship with her mother seemed cold.

The two were often fighting.

Amy and her mother would cuss each other out on a regular basis.

What I found odd was when Amy and Scott were engaged, her mother really wanted nothing to do with planning her daughter's wedding.

Even stranger, Amy really did not want much to do with the wedding details either.

Instead, she asked Scott's mother to handle everything indicating that she was either too busy or simply too tired.

Terri dutifully planned each detail of the wedding.

And when Amy had meltdowns, it was Terri who shouldered the brunt of Amy's wrath.

Terri bit her tongue and fluffed off Amy's behavior as nervous bride syndrome.

The morning of the wedding, Amy bolted unannounced into Terri and Bruce's house and flew into a rage as things were not going quite her way.

She never noticed the house full of relatives. If she did, she certainly didn't care.

Amy came through the front door, guns blazing.

Screaming and carrying on to the point that my other sister, Judy, became quite uncomfortable with the situation. Judy, living out of state, had never met Amy except for the wedding shower.

And to Judy, this wasn't at all the picture she had imagined of the bride-to-be on her wedding day.

After Amy's outburst, she left for the church as if nothing was unusual about her behavior. Judy mentioned something to Terri about Amy's outburst.

It was clear that Terri was embarrassed, but she stated that Amy was probably just nervous. She hurried everyone off to the church and it was obvious that she wanted to end the conversation. The wedding went off without a hitch.

About a month into the marriage Scott made a call to Bruce and Terri.

Terri noticed that something was bothering Scott.

When she asked if something was wrong, Scott indicated that indeed, there was.

Scott stated that he felt he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

Terri thought that he was referring to his military career, as Scott was getting ready to be deployed.

Scott stated that no, it had nothing to do with the military.

It had to do with Amy and the marriage.

Amy's moods ran hot and cold.

One moment she could be happy then fly into a rage the next.

It was also at that time Terri learned from Scott that Amy was bi-polar.

She was on medications, but she often did not take her medications as prescribed.

Scott was frustrated and clearly unhappy.

He was beginning to look at his upcoming deployment as a welcome break from the fighting at home.

Terry and Bruce tried to offer advice.

Indicating that the first year of marriage is often the most difficult.

After all, they had just moved across country and Scott would soon be deployed. Amy would be by herself away from her family. Amy was bound to be somewhat upset and nervous.

But Scott was not so sure.

"Maybe it would be better to throw the towel in now", Scott stated.

Terry and Bruce told him to think things over carefully before making any decisions.

Give it some time. If ultimately Scott felt that this was a mistake, then he could make the decision. Either way, Terri and Bruce would support him. Scott agreed and planned to re-evaluate the relationship once he returned from his deployment.

Upon his return, he placed a weary call to his parents.

"How are things going, Scott"?

There was an unusually long pause before Scott answered their question.

"Amy just announced she is pregnant, so much for divorce".

-S.Spade

The nightmare begins

They were sweethearts in high school.

The attraction was never clear except for the old saying "opposites attract".

Scott was a typical teenager.

Gawky and just trying to fit in.

The kind of kid that makes you smile.

His movements were awkward at times.

In some ways he looked like a puppy that was trying to fit into its legs and paws.

A growth spurt that often times would make one trip over their own feet.

He was intelligent.

In many respects at a genius level.

Unsure of which path to take.

Computer geek meets Goth.

And he had an uncanny sense of humor.

Typical struggles with his parents.

And he seemed to have an internal struggle of which way to turn in life.

Not at all unusual for a teenager.

Trying to find their place.

Trying to be accepted.

But he was a kid that no matter which hat he placed on his head, you just liked him.

Amy was different.

Intelligent, absolutely.

Pretty in a gawky sense.

Again, being a teenager, not unusual.

Usually the one thing I always remember about a person is their eye color.

I am awful with names, but with eyes...I can always remember someone's eyes.

To this day I can't recall her eye color.

Nor the shape of her eyes.

Maybe because looking back in time I realize she never made eye contact.

She would look off in the distance, or to the side.

But I can honestly say she never looked me in the eye.

She seemed cool.

I don't mean cool in the respect of a "cool kid".

Cool...cold.

It seemed as if she had almost drawn an imaginary line around her that was not to be crossed, couldn't be crossed.

She had strong opinions and even stronger emotions.

Mind you, I had only had limited contact with them during their teenage romance.

So making a fair assumption had its limits.

In all fairness I really knew little of her.

It was just a feeling.

And I don't mind saying, an uneasy feeling.

But as I grow older and wiser I have learned that "gut feelings" are usually correct.

There is a reason we are born with this uncanny ability.

It goes back to the beginning of humanity.

It's called a fight or flight response.

It is an actual reflex.

A reflex that is meant for survival.

There is a reason for it.

And I have learned that when I ignore this reflex, things go very badly.

My first introduction to Amy was followed by this uneasy feeling.

But I brushed it off.

And back then, I figured their time together would be limited.

Seldom do high school crushes go beyond high school.

A dance here, prom there.

A few dates and some time spent in the back seat of a car.

Someone does something to cheese off the other.

And the inevitable breakup takes place.

And such was the case with Scott and Amy.

Typical teenagers.

C'este la vie.

Several years passed.

We never heard much from Scott about Amy.

He had graduated from high school and went about life.

Sometimes making good choices, sometimes not so good.

But again, nothing unusual for someone his age.

I assume he had a few girlfriends along the way.

But I was busy raising a family, and he was busy growing up.

And as such I never had knowledge of any relationships he was in.

Our relationship was mostly limited to holiday gatherings.

And "catch up" news from my sister when we would talk.

Again, typical.

I knew that there were struggles in the family.

Again, nothing unusual.

Power struggles are not uncommon for a young adult man.

Testosterone plays a part as does testing the waters.

The result is usually the kid feels that they are so much wiser then the parent.

They feel they are an equal.

So decisions are made and often times the bird needs to be kicked out of the nest.

Scott went off on his own and had jobs here and there.

Then life snuck up on him.

And he started realizing that mom and dad just might have a bit more on him in the wisdom department.

He decided to follow in his fathers foot steps and seek out a military career.

Start making good choices.

Build on his education; have a chance to see the world.

And we were all thrilled to see him coming into his own.

Unfortunately, this was also when Amy came back into his life.

Boot camp was followed by their wedding.

Maybe I was wrong with my feelings of uneasiness?

After all teenagers do grow up.

Maybe age had changed the awkward girl?

Age had certainly changed Scott.

And it was a positive change.

But still, I couldn't shake the old "gut feeling".

Years later, I would understand why.

-S. Spade

The facts, just the facts.

It was a cold, grey day.

The type of day that leaves you feeling as if the marrow in your bones were ice.

I had been home from work for about 15 minutes.

I remember vividly it had felt surreal all day.

My mind seemed a bit foggy and I was agitated. I noticed that I just couldn't hold a thought... 

I was pouring myself a drink when the sound of the phone surprisingly made me shudder.

I looked at the caller I.D. and hesitantly,  lifted the phone to my ear.

Unrecognizable number.

I almost didn't want to say hello.

Something told me not to.

The voice in my gut.

Something told me that this was bad.

And my life was never to be the same.

"Hello", pause...

On the other end the caller says "I hate to have to tell you this...he's dead. He killed himself"

It was a family friend making the call to me.

I scream...I drop the phone.

I fall to the floor.

I realize I am now in a fetal position.

I can feel myself screaming.

But I can't hear the sound.

Slow motion.

Is this real...NO, it HAS to be a nightmare.

But my eyes are open.

And my heart is pounding.

I feel tears.

Not him...please not him.

It makes no sense.

I placed the phone back to my ear...

Where...

What happened...

A motel...suicide.

Pause...

I feel sick, I have to call you back.

I run to the bathroom and vomit.

I compose myself as much as humanly possible.

I go back to the phone.

My mind racing...

How will I even get the words out of my mouth?

How do you tell your sister how sorry you are?

How do you console a mother?

How do you find the words?

Are there any words of comfort?

The voice on the other end of the phone is almost a whisper...

It's my sister.

We just fall apart, no words were needed.

We are shattered.

-S. Spade

Is it really the truth?

Welcome.

Sometimes things are not as they seem.

In this blog, we will walk through a crime scene.

To some, it may not seem to be a crime at all.  Just a sad, unfortunate event. 

To others, a clear cut case of murder shadowed in a suicide.

People are funny.  They can take on many personalities.

How will you look at the people who will be presented here?

Is this real....

Or is this a story?

You be the detective.

-S. Spade